Asking For Help

I don't know what it is about asking for help, but I'm not a big fan of it. For big things, that is; when it comes to little things I'm all for it. I'll ask my hubby to open a jar, get me a drink of water, carry something heavy—that sort of thing. But when it comes to the big things I keep quiet. I'll pray quietly to God but I don't like asking people for prayer. I'll tell one or two close friends and they always say they'll pray for me, but I rarely ask.

I'm not entirely sure why this is but I've got a few ideas. For one, I'm American, and Americans are indoctrinated from birth to be independent and not rely on others for help. Okay, that's probably part of it, but it's not entirely it. Another factor is I don't like to get hurt, and if I don't tell people things then they can't hurt me when they don't live up to my expectations. That's definitely a big part of it. Hubby says that may be my plan but it doesn't work and I still end up feeling hurt and disappointed sometimes; that may be true but that pattern is still pretty ingrained in me. Last but not least, I'm a pretty private person and I don't like having to explain things, and if I don't tell people then they don't ask. Particularly when it's something that could go wrong, then I don't have to explain things if there isn't a happy ending. Like my job search: I don't talk about it on this blog for a number of reasons, but I don't always talk about it with people in-person, either. I told some people when I had interviews, but if I didn't get the job I then had to go and tell all those folks who knew I was interviewing, which was a huge pain. (For the record, I've had several interviews where I was a finalist and someone else ended up getting the job. Yes, that's the way things go and no, knowing that doesn't make it any easier.)

So back to asking for help. This morning I told a friend at church that my dad is in the hospital. She knows how busy I am and asked if I'd like her to send a prayer request to the church email list if I didn't have time. Without a second thought I shook my head and said, "No." It isn't that I don't want people to pray, it's just that sharing thing again, I don't like to broadcast things. I didn't even tell a lot of people when I had surgery (which I've now had twice in the past two years—following in my dad's footsteps a little too closely, if you ask me) and I certainly didn't use the church email list to ask for prayer. That's just too open for me. On the other hand, hubby and I are part of a small group now where one of the goals is for people to get comfortable and learn to trust and support each other. That's the kind of forum I can accept, in time. (Assuming I can get enough homework done and manage my time so I can actually attend. That's the first step.)

In the spirit of branching out I'll say that hubby and I do have some things going on right now, things that actually make it impossible for us to go to California (where my parents live) this month, regardless of the circumstances. For now there's no reason that we'd need to go and it sounds like things are under control, but it's still an added stress that I really don't need in my life right now. On top of everything else hubby is out-of-town this weekend, though he'll be back tonight. Nothing like when it rains, it pours!

Getting to Know Our Neighbors

Some people get to know their neighbors by inviting them over for a barbecue or having a block party. We have termite and water damage on our house.

The rotted frame.

Hubby and I had both noticed water on the porch where there shouldn't be any after recent rains, and then hubby noticed part of the trim was buckling (more like disintegrating). When he took the trim off he discovered the extensive damage underneath.

Hubby worked in construction before we moved to North Carolina so he can do a lot of things himself, but he recognized this probably needed a professional. Thankfully, we have neighbors involved with construction. Our next-door neighbor works in sales with a local construction company, so hubby called him and asked his opinion on the matter. He came over and recommended another neighbor around the corner who does residential construction for a living, and who of course had already seen the damage while walking past our house. (It's right by the front door so kind of hard to miss.) To make a long story short, this neighbor is able to do the repairs and it worked out that he could work on it today—and hubby happens to have this weekend off—so they're out there hammering away as I type this. Fun times.

I went shopping this morning to get some badly-needed clothes and take advantage of North Carolina's sales tax holiday, then met a friend for a previously-scheduled lunch. When I got home here's what I found:

Hole in the house, anyone?

That's where a window lives, folks, not a door. Isn't it lovely?

Since I've been home another neighbor has already stopped by to introduce himself and see what's going on. Some people get to know their neighbors socially. We get to know them through rotted wood...

A Note to Mississippians

To the Mississippians who read my blog: I hope you're all okay! I don't know where you all live exactly but I read about the tornado that ripped through Mississippi today and the damage it caused. As a native Californian I've never experienced a tornado and can't imagine what it's like (and hope I'll never know), but I really hope none of you were in its path. My prayers are with all of the people who were affected by it.

Please post or comment when you can!

Awards and Blog Etiquette

Ok, it's time to deal with some bloggy things.

I'm the first to admit I'm no expert on blogs and I don't know all the comings and goings about them; I'm learning as I go and hoping I don't say anything wrong or offend anyone along the way. For example, I'm still working on making blog friends. I'm told the best way is to comment on lots of blogs and then see who comments back on yours. I have made a few blog friends that way (including one who I'm going to meet in person next month!) and I have to say I've had fun getting to know them through commenting on each other's blogs. I wouldn't say I've commented on a huge number of blogs but I have commented on a few who have never returned comments on mine. I'm not sure what to think about this... Should I continue commenting in the hope that the blog owner will eventually acknowledge my existence (and my blog)? Should I just read the blog if I like it but not worry about commenting? Should I stop reading the blog? (I confess I've done that in a few cases...) I'm curious what other folks out there do with this dilemma.

Another area I'm not quite sure about is awards. Or maybe I should say "awards" since I don't think these are official blog awards; as best I can tell they're a game of some sort where people pass these "awards" around from one blog to another. (They kind of remind me of chain letters from way back when, or chain e-mails in the digital age.) A friend of mine gave me my first "award" back in July; I figured out the code to put it on my blog but I guess I've been lax in my award duties. So, to make up for lost time here are the rules for the first award I received from my friend, Sarah:

This award is bestowed on to blogs that are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to six bloggers who must choose six more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

I'll pass this award onto my new blog friends. Congratulations! (I think...)

1. Dr. Wifey
2. FROGGITY!
3. Allison
4. In the Dog House
5. Sarah (yep, you get it back)

(I know that's only five, not six. Like I said, I'm still working on making blog friends!)

Now Sarah went and gave me another award:

This one looks kind of fun so I'll run with it. The goal is to answer each question with only one word. Here it goes:

1. Where is your cell phone? dresser
2. Your hair? messy
3. Your mother? librarian
4. Your father? engineer
5. Your favorite food? chocolate
6. Your dream last night? forgotten
7. Your favorite drink? strong [Not really, that just sounded too good to pass up.]
   
8. Your dream/goal? job
9. What room are you in? bonus
10. Your hobby? blogging!
    
11. Your fear? job
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? working
13. Where were you last night? sleeping
14. Something that you aren’t? programmer
15. Muffins? yes!
16. Wish list item? job
17. Where did you grow up? California
18. Last thing you did? breakfast
19. What are you wearing? headband
20. Your TV? big
    
21. Your pets? sleeping
    
22. Friends? close
23. Your life? blessed
24. Your mood? anticipating
25. Missing someone? no
26. Vehicle? 1991
27. Something you’re not wearing? socks
28. Your favorite store? Trader Joe's (should count as one word!)
    
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Thursday
32. Your best friend? husband
33. One place that I go to over and over? school
    
34. One person who emails me regularly? mom
35. Favorite place to eat? restaurant

I'll pass this one on to the people listed above, or anyone else who'd like to put it on their blog and try it. Have fun!

Birthday

Today is my birthday.

Nope, I'm not going to say how old I am, not because I'm particularly vain about it but because I'd like potential employers to look at this blog someday and that isn't information I want to hand them on a platter; they can interview me and judge my age for themselves. I'm not saying I'm over-the-hill or anything like that (though my dad did tell me this morning that the hill keeps moving thanks to advancements in medicine), I've just read too many articles in the paper lately about age being a factor in hiring decisions. So I'm leaving my age out of this blog. Suffice it to say I'm somewhere between being old enough to vote and I'm not on Medicare yet. (Though while we were in CA my husband somehow got on AARP mailing lists and that seems to have followed us here. We still periodically get ads in the mail for hearing aids and retirement homes. Maybe we should take them up on it—some of those retirement homes look pretty nice!)

So far it's been a pretty nice day. A few phone calls, e-mails (including a link to geritol from a friend at church—thanks, Jordan), cards in the mail, and flowers and a cake from my hubby:

My hubby the pyromaniac. The fire extinguisher was a nice touch. He put this together while I was out getting dog food choices for our picky pooch.

He got a chocolate-lovers cheesecake. Mmmmm, chocolate—is there any other flavor?

The obligatory flowers. He's been trained well. :-)

Since my husband works today and won't be home for dinner we'll be celebrating the rest of my birthday with a special dinner out next week. For now I'm planning on spending the rest of the day doing homework for my class (I know, not fun, but it's now or have a stressful Monday when it's due), but before I do I thought since it's my birthday and the beginning of a new year (or era, depending on your perspective) I'd take some time out and list 10 things I'm thankful for as I begin the next year. So here it goes:

1. I'm thankful for a God who loves me and gave His Son to die for me. That is without a doubt the greatest gift (birthday or otherwise) that I could ever receive.


2. I'm thankful for a loving husband who loves God and me and wants the best for me. (He told me yesterday that he's thankful for me, and I hadn't even told him about my intentions to make this list yet.)


3. Since it just started pouring rain outside I'll go ahead and say it: I'm thankful for the rain. Otherwise I have to water things by hand with the hose and I'm lazy and don't do it enough. I'm really thankful when Mother Nature does it for me.


4. I'm thankful for the opportunity I've had to go back to school to get my master's in a field I enjoy. At this time next year I hope to be thankful for the great job my degree helped me get.


5. I'm thankful for my parents who are helping us while I'm in school. Life would definitely be more difficult and stressful without their help.


6. I'm thankful for having married into a wonderful Christian family and being able to spend holidays with them now that we're on the east coast. Admittedly I'm still getting used to having big-family holidays but I'm thankful to be a part of them.


7. I'm thankful that I still have few enough gray hairs that I can still pull them out.


8. I'm thankful that I still have plenty of hair so you can't notice when I pull a few gray hairs out.


9. Having recently had surgery I'm thankful for my health.


10. I'm thankful for another year, another decade, another quarter-century, and whatever God chooses to give me on this earth.

Here's to a great next year.