Asking For Help

I don't know what it is about asking for help, but I'm not a big fan of it. For big things, that is; when it comes to little things I'm all for it. I'll ask my hubby to open a jar, get me a drink of water, carry something heavy—that sort of thing. But when it comes to the big things I keep quiet. I'll pray quietly to God but I don't like asking people for prayer. I'll tell one or two close friends and they always say they'll pray for me, but I rarely ask.

I'm not entirely sure why this is but I've got a few ideas. For one, I'm American, and Americans are indoctrinated from birth to be independent and not rely on others for help. Okay, that's probably part of it, but it's not entirely it. Another factor is I don't like to get hurt, and if I don't tell people things then they can't hurt me when they don't live up to my expectations. That's definitely a big part of it. Hubby says that may be my plan but it doesn't work and I still end up feeling hurt and disappointed sometimes; that may be true but that pattern is still pretty ingrained in me. Last but not least, I'm a pretty private person and I don't like having to explain things, and if I don't tell people then they don't ask. Particularly when it's something that could go wrong, then I don't have to explain things if there isn't a happy ending. Like my job search: I don't talk about it on this blog for a number of reasons, but I don't always talk about it with people in-person, either. I told some people when I had interviews, but if I didn't get the job I then had to go and tell all those folks who knew I was interviewing, which was a huge pain. (For the record, I've had several interviews where I was a finalist and someone else ended up getting the job. Yes, that's the way things go and no, knowing that doesn't make it any easier.)

So back to asking for help. This morning I told a friend at church that my dad is in the hospital. She knows how busy I am and asked if I'd like her to send a prayer request to the church email list if I didn't have time. Without a second thought I shook my head and said, "No." It isn't that I don't want people to pray, it's just that sharing thing again, I don't like to broadcast things. I didn't even tell a lot of people when I had surgery (which I've now had twice in the past two years—following in my dad's footsteps a little too closely, if you ask me) and I certainly didn't use the church email list to ask for prayer. That's just too open for me. On the other hand, hubby and I are part of a small group now where one of the goals is for people to get comfortable and learn to trust and support each other. That's the kind of forum I can accept, in time. (Assuming I can get enough homework done and manage my time so I can actually attend. That's the first step.)

In the spirit of branching out I'll say that hubby and I do have some things going on right now, things that actually make it impossible for us to go to California (where my parents live) this month, regardless of the circumstances. For now there's no reason that we'd need to go and it sounds like things are under control, but it's still an added stress that I really don't need in my life right now. On top of everything else hubby is out-of-town this weekend, though he'll be back tonight. Nothing like when it rains, it pours!

I Want a Toad Hole

The other day hubby and I were walking the pooch one evening when it was actually a little cooler and we didn't see many toads; hubby commented that "toading season" may be nearly over and the toads may be settling in their toad holes for the winter. I thought that sounded lovely—a nice cozy toad hole to curl up in. I want one!

Life has been ridiculously busy since I started working and I've barely had time to breathe (or sleep), let alone cook, clean, watch TV, or any of the other things people do in their daily lives. On days I have class I go straight to class from work so that makes for 12-hour days for me; over the past two weeks I had other things going on that made for several other 12-hour days in addition to just class days. (Class days are only two days a week.) I guess a lot of people live this way all the time but I'm not one of them, and I don't think I want to be long-term.

I've decided for the rest of my time at this job (it's only for a few weeks) I'm going to work M-Th and take Friday off completely, rather than work shorter hours all week. I'm not working full-time so dedicating M-Th to work gets the hours in, then I can have a three-day weekend to catch up on other things I need to do, like keep up with my one-and-only-class this semester. (This particular class is on the heavy side and feels like a full-time load itself sometimes.) On the bright side, the extra activities that overloaded my schedule for the past two weeks should be subsiding now; hopefully things will quiet down to a dull roar so I'll have a few hours each week to feel like a normal person again. "Normal" being a relative term, of course.

Something To Say

I haven't been writing here much lately because: 1) I don't have time, and, 2) I haven't felt like I've had much to say recently, or at least nothing that I want to talk about on the Internet. But now I've got something to say:

I'm going back to work tomorrow.

Sort of. I mean, it's a job, but it's not the elusive (as a friend calls it) permanent position, I'm still working on that. Someone I know who owns a technical writing consulting company (yes, there are such things, quite a few of them, actually) wrote to me last week and asked if I might be available to help with some proofreading and editing. Apparently she's got a lot of files that need to be proofread and she's overwhelmed. She has several regular employees and is hiring me as a contractor for 4-6 weeks to work on this project. It's flexible hours, I probably won't work full-time (my choice), and she knows I'm looking for permanent work so I won't need to make up stories if/when other interviews come up. So it should work out well and give me something else to do for a few weeks, which will be nice.

Of course this will mean a whole new routine for me and remembering how to do things I haven't done in a while—things like having to be somewhere every morning, deal with a commute, and eat lunch in an office. I worked from home for several years before I went back to school so it's been a LONG time since I've had to make myself a lunch to take to work; I make hubby a lunch (or dinner, depending on his schedule) to take to work everyday but he's not a picky eater and I kind of am. (Okay, no "kind of" about it, I just am.) I went grocery shopping this week and got some things that should get me through this week, and I know there are a lot of websites out there with good recipes for lunches to take to work so I'm sure I can get creative if I want to take the time to do so. The good news is I may not need to be in the office everyday after the first week so that will help with the lunches and the commute. (At the moment I'm not sure how long the commute will be—especially if I try to do it during normal rush hour times—so I'll definitely try to avoid that. Hopefully it won't be more than 30-35 minutes if I can avoid traffic. Hour-long commutes are not my thing.)

To get ready for work—and because it desperately needed it—yesterday I took advantage of the nicer weather we've FINALLY been having the past couple of days and gave my car its semi-annual cleaning. (I'd like to say I'm exaggerating on the semi-annual part but, um, no.) It'll be nice to be able to see out of the windows again. And we gave doggy a bath; we wash her more than semi-annually but she definitely needed it. We usually give her a pedicure (as in cut her toenails) whenever we give her a bath so she's clicking less when she walks now, too. She'd never admit it, but I'm sure she feels better when she's all clean and fluffy again. It's just the process of getting that way that isn't so great.

I hope you all are having a wonderful Labor Day. I'm working on homework and trying to catch up on some other computer things, like finally updating this blog—that's one thing I can cross off my list!

Back to School for the Last Time

Today is the first day of my last class of graduate school—only 121 days until graduation, if anyone is counting. (Why yes, yes I am.) With only one class I don't expect school to be my entire focus anymore, which will be strange since school has been my LIFE for the past year and a half. And I'm fine with that. School is fun (sometimes; sometimes not) but I'm ready to have a job and go back to the "real" world now. (Still working on that.)

My last class is a required theory (vs. application) class called "Rhetoric of Science and Technology." (I'm working on memorizing the title so I don't have to look it up all the time.) Rhetoric is an important part of writing, and even technical writing addresses the rhetorical situation of the audience. (I actually used the phrase "rhetorical situation" in my capstone presentation last semester; I was so proud.) I wasn't an English major as an undergrad so rhetoric isn't something I think about everyday, and I'll probably learn a thing or two in this course. And get more practice writing papers and doing presentations and reading what others have to say on the matter until my eyes fall out... I can't wait.

But it'll all be worth it in December when I can walk down that aisle and say, "I did it!"

Getting to Know Our Neighbors

Some people get to know their neighbors by inviting them over for a barbecue or having a block party. We have termite and water damage on our house.

The rotted frame.

Hubby and I had both noticed water on the porch where there shouldn't be any after recent rains, and then hubby noticed part of the trim was buckling (more like disintegrating). When he took the trim off he discovered the extensive damage underneath.

Hubby worked in construction before we moved to North Carolina so he can do a lot of things himself, but he recognized this probably needed a professional. Thankfully, we have neighbors involved with construction. Our next-door neighbor works in sales with a local construction company, so hubby called him and asked his opinion on the matter. He came over and recommended another neighbor around the corner who does residential construction for a living, and who of course had already seen the damage while walking past our house. (It's right by the front door so kind of hard to miss.) To make a long story short, this neighbor is able to do the repairs and it worked out that he could work on it today—and hubby happens to have this weekend off—so they're out there hammering away as I type this. Fun times.

I went shopping this morning to get some badly-needed clothes and take advantage of North Carolina's sales tax holiday, then met a friend for a previously-scheduled lunch. When I got home here's what I found:

Hole in the house, anyone?

That's where a window lives, folks, not a door. Isn't it lovely?

Since I've been home another neighbor has already stopped by to introduce himself and see what's going on. Some people get to know their neighbors socially. We get to know them through rotted wood...